I can't remember what I did on the internet before...
if robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money id just laugh and search with them
esexist: sleeping comes so naturally to me like i could do it with my eyes closed tbh
Thanks to my bro Alex. Even though I couldnt really rely on my other family, he still helps me no mater what.
These are the days I miss my mom the most.
Penny boards are the gayest thing I have ever seen.
I hate mothers day.
foreveralone-lyguy: You don’t believe in evolution? How else would a charmander become a charizard
Happy Birthday Ka Felix!
toddhewit: you could have reblogged that from me
Me every night: I don't need to sleep.
Me every morning: I need to sleep for 3 days straight.
pizza-feels: I literally ALWAYS fall for someone that I have no chance with and it sucks.
burqalicious: basically i assume you all hate me unless proven otherwise
nw948tw4n9cty8w498tcyw849tchw3: dont judge a person by their url
Finally have a bank account. Shiny debit card O_O
*Pollen accidentally enters body*
Immune system: What the hell is that?
Pollen: Oh hey. Sorry. We got a bit lost. The wind kinda bl-
Immune system: OH GOD WE'RE UNDER ATTACK
Pollen: What?!? No! We just got lo-
Immune system: OPEN THE FLOODGATES
Pollen: The what?
Mucus membranes: Sir. All the floodgates?
Immune system: ALL OF THEM.
Pollen: Wait. Wait. You don't... Oh shi-
sadillite: all i do is sit around and eat and be sad im basically a more annoying version of a plant
I hate how my right side burn grows faster than my left..
My brain during the day: Potato, potato, ching chong tomato
My brain at night: I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here and allowed us to provide a perfect climate to sustain human life.